One of Those Weeks

In the past, before I read “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, I would have been the most grumpy and ungracious mom on the planet this week. Two sick babies. Deadlines. Stacks of laundry. Dinner and dishes. A sick mommy. And several other unmentionables make for a not so good week.

I tried to do it all in my power this week, and I could sense His presence…as Ann says, “I feel Him hold me — a flailing child tired in Father’s arms.”

In my weakness, He has been strong and I have been able to see with new eyes. Eyes that have been able to count the graces of each hour. My vision has changed. I can choose to see each and every moment through His plan, His Word. What a difference this makes! And with that, this week that could have been a disaster was not so much…it was more flailing a little and then remembering that He is holding me and I can stop striving and just be.

I don’t have to have it all together for Him to love me. The opposite is true. The more I don’t have it all together, the more I need Him. And needing Him is just where I have been this week. And for that I am grateful.

In the midst of this week, I have been able to utter thanks and give praise for many things:

1. Healthcare and medicine at my disposal within hours.

2. Otherwise healthy and spunky children full of vitality and love. I have friends who have spent months at Duke and UNC-CH with very sick children.

3. My sweet son’s logical mind. Here is an example that made me cackle out loud: We were talking about squirrels, birds, and rabbits that frolic in our backyard and I asked Sean the following question, “Sean, did you know that mommy used to eat rabbit when she was a little girl?” Sean: “No…” Me: “Yep, my nanny would fry them like chickens after my granddaddy hunted them.” Sean: {who was sitting very quietly at the kitchen table pensively focused on birds at the bird feeder outside the window} “Mommy, did they hop away when you tried to eat them?” I couldn’t help myself…I laughed until my side hurt and wrapped my arms around my sweet feverish son and held him tight.

4. My loving and gracious husband. He is a gem.

5. God’s Word…manna for each and every day.

6. The many varieties of birds that visit our bird feeder each day.

7. Warm fuzzy blankets and socks.

8. Extra cuddle time with both of my babies.

9. Music that brings energy into my life.

10. New eyes to see what God sees. Life in every moment. Resurrection around every corner. A new hope for a new day.

I am thankful for Ann Voskamp’s book, for it has allowed me to “wear my lenses and pray to see.” Lord, may I see what you want me to see and when the world becomes distorted, remind me to put Your lenses back on. Thank you that you are my El Roi, God who sees.

If you haven’t read the book yet, what are you waiting for?? I can almost promise that you will not be the same person after you read it. I pray that you will accept the challenge and soak and meditate on the manna of “One Thousand Gifts”.

It truly is all Grace…

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