When is enough enough?

In regards to relationships, when I ask myself this question I get different answers. There are times when God whispers in my ear, “one more time.”

There are times when I ask myself this question and I hear God say, “Yes, stop now.”

And then there are times that I ask and I don’t get an answer in return. Usually this means to keep doing what I am doing with patience, also known as longsuffering.

I have learned that steadfast diligence is hard to come by, especially when it involves people and relationships. What makes relationships so difficult?

Well, the first and most obvious conclusion is that a relationship is a connection or association that involves people…broken, selfish, and prideful people. I, myself, fall into that description, probably somewhere near the top of the list.

Relationships can be very hard to navigate at times. There are times I would like to pack up and move to a very remote and private 100 acre parcel of land near no one that I know (well except, of course, my husband and kids)…and oh yes, with a non-forwarding address as well.

When the phone starts to ring too much, when I am asked for the 14th time by my neighbor if he can borrow the weedeater, when we seem to run into that person everywhere we go…almost as if he or she knows our routine and just happens to bump into us. That is when we begin ponder, “How soon can I purchase my one-way ticket to anywhere but here?”

When things start to get messy in relationships, we tend to tuck our tail and run.

Instead of running, I encourage you to camp out until God tells you to move on. Increase margin in your relationships by setting boundaries…knowing where you begin and end. As you figure this out for yourself, slowly and in love, begin to help others know these parameters. Here are a few broad guiding principles that will help you establish boundaries:

When we give too much and we try to fix others, we become enablers.

When we don’t give at all and we choose to be selfish, we become bitter and lonely.

When we give what is necessary for the moment, we give grace and God’s tender love.

I am so thankful for those people who have given as much as necessary, what was sufficient at the time for me. I have been blessed with many people who have always given sufficiently in my life. Not too much, not too little, just enough.

That is what I want my life to give. Thank you for giving…

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Ephesians 4:29


1 Comment

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One response to “Enough

  1. I really like your tip section–especially the one on giving what is needed in the situation. I tend to want to “overgive” so then I stymie myself by not giving at all because if I can’t do it the way I think needs to be done then I just don’t try.
    Great reminder of how God’s grace truly is sufficient in ALL things–especially relationships!

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