My precious daughter reminded me of something recently I hope I never fail to remember…
“Mom, I wish I was the mommy,” Callie said. “What do you mean, Callie?” I responded. “If I was the mom I could be the boss!” Callie replied back to me. I chuckled and said, “What do you mean by being the boss?” Callie looked at me and smiled as she said, “If I were the boss I could always get what I wanted.”
Boy oh boy, does God ever use my children to speak to my heart…down in those deep places that other people rarely see.
God has been working on my heart lately…my beautiful, new heart that He gave me when I became His daughter. He used my daughter to show me a loophole in my way of thinking. The problem seems to be one of me wanting to be the boss and call the shots and control the outcomes. That looks, smells, and sounds like trouble!
You know those times, the ones where you think you are trusting God, say you are trusting God, and even look like you are trusting God. But you know you are still in the driver’s seat turning the wheel. And in those deep dark moments, you are controlled by anxiety and fear…
Ultimately, the thought that we are in control of anything is only an illusion. God is completely and meticulously in control of the entire universe, let alone my little life. Psalms 8:3-5 says,
“When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty!”
Who am I that God would take thought of me? Who am I? That question begs for an answer and all too often the answer for me is lost in my desire to be the boss and call the shots and control the outcomes. I experience a false sense of safety and peace when I am able to manipulate things or situations to meet my needs for order and tranquility.
Back to the question that demands an answer: who am I? I am God’s daughter and He is a caring Father who holds all things together. He is not my boss who puts me to work and waits and watches for me to mess up. He wants me to rest under the shadow of His wing and trust the future to Him. Anything else is contending with Him and as a result I am fearful and anxious.
It is when I choose to abide deeply in Him that I experience true peace as a result of me surrendering my will to His will and accepting that His plans are better than mine. As a result, I don’t have to exhaust myself trying to call the shots and control the outcomes. Whew!! When I take the time to drink of His word and seek Him in prayer and truly believe what He says about me and Him…then and only then, do I experience true peace and rest.
May you surrender your will to your loving Father and experience true peace as you trust Him with the outcomes that He desires for you.